WASHINGTON, D.C. - Having been unemployed since wrapping up the 2016 Trump Election Collusion Investigation, Special Counsel Robert Mueller is eagerly awaiting congress to start the 2020 Election Investigation involving voter fraud allegations. Assuming that congress would want to appear fair and impartial, and not seem like the Trump investigation was just a witch hunt, Mr. Mueller held a press conference announcing his ability to start working immediately.
Mr. Mueller stated that “Surely congress will want to get to the bottom of this issue, you know, to be fair and all. In 2016 they turned me loose with a blank check to look into some seriously he said / she said types of allegations, and now they have all of these affidavits, video evidence, statistical analyses, and acknowledge that at the minimum some fraud did occur, but that it probably wasn’t enough to be meaningful.
“I feel I have so much more to work with this go-around, and that I should be able to drag this out for at least three years, spend closer to 100 million dollars, and that I can even generate a conviction that will be related to the actual original allegations. Besides, I have a third vacation home that I need to pay for, and have been eyeing a first generation corvette that is coming up in next year’s Barrett Jackson auction.”
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