SAGLE, ID - Local law enforcement recently scrambled to solve a property theft crime. As reported, a Mr. Clueless entered a gun shop and pulled out his unloaded pistol to ask the owner if he had a part for the firearm. The owner selfishly and criminally grabbed the Mr. Clueless’ hand as the pistol was about to cover the owner’s stomach, where upon the owner took control of the pistol, removed Mr. Clueless’ finger from the trigger, ejected the loaded magazine, and cycled the slide to remove the round from the barrel.
The store owner then, without Mr. Clueless’ permission, put the cartridge into his jar of shame, that contains all of the ammunition that was brought into his store loaded up in unloaded firearms. Mr. Clueless demanded his cartridge be returned immediately, as he had paid 30 cents for it last year. This request was refused by the owner, who said that forfeiting the cartridge was the price for pointing a loaded unloaded gun at him, and that it was for a good cause as it serves to promote responsibility and safety in the gun owning community.
After leaving, Mr. Clueless notified law enforcement of the theft of his property, and an officer was dispatched from a child endangerment investigation in Clark Fork to handle the situation. The officer drove the hour to the store, spent thirty minutes investigating the crime, and retrieved what was assumed to be the 30 cent round of ammunition from the jar of shame. No one was really sure as there were multiple 9mm rounds in the jar. At one point placing a call to the forensic team was considered, to pull fingerprint and DNA evidence.
The officer then drove back to the north county to deliver the stolen property to its rightful owner. No charges were filed, and approximately $300 of county resources were used to solve the 30 cent non-crime. The child endangerment investigation has been terminated, as crucial evidence went missing during the officer’s absence.
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