SANDPOINT, ID - With the Festival at Sandpoint cancelled this year due to the County Commissioner’s lawsuit, the CIty’s astroturfing Memorial Field, and the Cornbirus, take your pick, one local woman has found a solution. Suzy Cellphonia has been attending the Festival ever since she first bought her first Iphone, and plans on reliving all her past concert experiences with friends and family this August.
Ms. Cellphonia stated “Like, I had this new phone and stuff so I, like, wanted to put stuff on my SnappyGram page, but there’s, like nothing to do here so I like, started to go to the Festival and stuff. So I like, videoed every show and stuff, and then put them on SnappyGram because like, who wouldn’t want to watch my videos from the 200th row with blurry unfocused video and crappy sound. Both of my followers think they are all like rad and stuff.
“And since I’m like looking at them again, they look like when I saw them at the Festival and stuff. I watched each show through a small screen, and it looks just like that now. You can even totally see the people that I was pissing off and stuff by holding up my, like Iphone up the whole time, blocking their views and shining the light in their eyes. You even get the full, like concert effect, by hearing people yell at me to put my, like, phone down and stuff and just enjoy the show and quit ruining their time. Fortunately, I’m like totally self-centered and stuff so I now have all this crappy video to look at and bore people with, so I’m like holding screenings and stuff for this year’s non-Festival.”
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