SANDPOINT, ID - A horde of ones of unmasked readers, many carrying small children, barged into the library demanding their right to read books. The protestors, part of the newly formed Reader's Rights of North Idaho, wore matching t-shirts printed with the hashtag #Exempt and stated their refusal to participate in the "useless" trend of wearing a face mask, citing "the madness of crowds" and herd mentality. When asked what they were reading for, the group's spokesman responded with "So we don't have to work as waffle waitresses to make a living."
Area reader Larry 'Mad Dog' Fury said he was "doing his part" by not trying to hide from the silent monster known as Covid-19, referring to the concept of "survival of the fittest". "I'm a perfectly healthy individual," stated Irate. "If more people like me contracted the virus, felt poopy for a couple days, but in doing so developed antibodies to fight the virus we'd be seeing that old curve flattened much quicker."
Mad Dog went on to state that the reason for the face mask mandate is only to further control of the people using fear and socially condemning tactics. In an effort to remain relevant and virtue signal, the library responded by closing access for everyone, because doing so might somehow save a life somewhere. For the children.
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