SANDPOINT, ID - Unsatisfied with Covid-19 mask usage in the Sandpoint area, the Supreme Leader and the High Council unveiled their newest incentive to gain voluntary compliance, Beijing-like air quality. Last weekend, Bonner county was inundated with a smoky haze designed to make area citizenry crave breathing filter masks on a 24 / 7 basis. Area monitors from the Ministry of Peace and Genocide report that early indications show that three times as many subj...citizens are now more mask compliant than one month ago.
In a secret deep-state meeting of the High Council two weeks ago, the Supreme Leader lobbied for and received approval to proceed with Operation Torched Forest. Torched Forest is designed to lower regional air quality to that of industrial India or China, thus compelling citizens to voluntarily start wearing facial masks. The High Council had been stymied as to how to gain voluntary compliance from people who have grown weary of Covid-19 health restrictions and no longer believe in the severity of the Silent Monster, and saw Torched Forest as the answer.
Torched Forest is a coordinated campaign, and includes the assistance of other large, metropolitan cities whose High Councils are also having difficulty controlling their subj….citizens. After several closed meetings, Facebooking sessions and Facetime calls, Operation Torched Forest was launched all over the Northwest Region. By last Saturday, the degradation of air quality necessary to achieve mass mask compliance was achieved.
A spokesman for the High Council stated Sunday that “Although we have had to sacrifice thousands of square miles of our forests and rangelands, we believe that we have slowed the heinous and rampant Corona to a level that will not overwhelm our healthcare system. Sure, there have been a small uptick in hospitalizations and deaths from Asthma, Emphysema, COPD, Heart Attacks, etc. but we see that as a minor compared to what Covid could have caused. Besides, it has been a slow fire season to date, and all of those fire people were just killing time at their jobs, bored. Now they can participate in the community and feel better about themselves.”
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