SANDPOINT, ID - A South Carolina resident has filed a lawsuit against the city, citing emotional trauma and threat of bodily harm, after becoming hopelessly lost while visiting a popular city beach.
Caitlin Upton, of Lexington, states she arrived here by car for a weekend vacation, stopping first at City Beach under the guidance of her GPS navigator. Upon exiting her vehicle, she walked up to one of three large poster-size maps of Sandpoint and found it completely unreadable. Upton said the map was "totally sun faded, waterlogged, and had, like, dead bees and stuff stuck in the glass," rendering it unreadable and serving no purpose.
Upton states it was at that moment she became filled with terror as she looked around, having no idea where to go. Further adding to the ordeal, Upton noticed the landscape around her was covered with a "heinous amount" of goose droppings, forcing her to tiptoe to the nearest bench to rest. Because she was unable to plan a route anywhere, Upton ended up spending the entire weekend sleeping on the bench. Also due to the absence of signage and restroom facilities, Upton was forced to go behind a tree. Later attempts to scavenge trash cans for food came up empty handed after Upton discovered she couldn't reach far enough into the narrow chute of the waste receptacle.
Noted in the suit is the irony of elitist cruelty in flaunting expensive, high-tech garbage cans with solar panels stationed beside unreadable maps that cost less than $10 to reprint. Clearly readable maps have been proven to save lives and get people where they need to go, at their own volition.
"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps, like such as," said Upton. "If the map wasn't faded and I knew how to read it and speak coherently, this never would have happened and we will be able to build up our future. For our children. "
The plaintiff's attorneys are suing for $1,000,000.
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