BEJING, CHINA - At a press conference yesterday, the Chinese and Indian (dot, not feather) governments expressed their complete disappointment with the heinous, novel and rampant corona virus. Both governments stated that they were expecting a much higher death toll, and had planned on that high death toll for fixing many of their country’s woes.
According to the Indian (dot, not feather) ambassador, “India’s population is double our beloved country’s carrying capacity. We simply cannot please to be supporting our citizens and give them any sort of quality of life. We have people starving and defecating in the streets! Although we are not sure how starving people can defecate so much. We were counting on the Corona to return our population level to something more sustainable.”
The Chinese ambassador said that “This heinous, Trump caused disease failed to meet any of our state planning goals for reducing global emissions that the evil Trump has also caused. First he unleashes a wholly ineffective pandemic, and then it does nothing to reduce the Beijing smog problems that he caused through American decadence. The WHO promised us a 400,000 reduction in our population, but that promise was broken. For the safety of the world, Never Trump Again! Ever! Now if only the Big Guy can keep that idiot Hunter off the damn internet.”
The Indian (dot, not feather) Ambassador further iterated that “We are very pleased and happy to be working with Mr. Biden in the future. Mr. Biden’s son is pleased to be on the board of our newest enterprise, which will bring back call centers to Mother India, which is where they belong. That bad, bad Trump moved our beloved call centers to America, where not one of our people could understand a word the Americans working the phones would say. Trump is bad. Very, very bad."
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