KNIFEPOINT, LIBERIA - Health officials in Sandpoint’s sister city, Knifepoint, are struggling to keep up with rising Covid-19 infections. Anonymous sources familiar with the pandemic have reported that the mayor of Knifepoint is now considering the curtailing of services and restricting movement in order to contain the heinous and rampant outbreak of the Cornbirus.
The source stated that the mayor is planning on closing all AIDS treatment facilities and prophylactic distribution centers, and rerouting those funds for Corona purposes. The mayor believes that with his new social distancing protocols that AIDS will no longer be spread and that the area’s birthrate will naturally decline. Health officials are also on board with these proposals as the Corona is way more heinous and trendy than the AIDS.
Knifepoint residents will also be prohibited from selling arms and munitions to any rebels or groups that have not been tested for the Cornbirus. Any such rebels and groups must have a government approved negative test result for the Covids, before they may enter Knifepoint to rearm for their next ethnic cleansing. All rebel groups will be required to adhere to the mayor’s social distancing standards during village exterminations. The one concession that the mayor made was that mass graves can continue to be used, without violating social distancing rules.
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