Voter Fraud Rampant in Bonner County

 

7B WIRE - The Idaho Elections Commission has opened an investigation into the 2020 election held last week in Bonner county. Commission Officials were concerned by the results reported by Bonner county, and an informal probe revealed much suspicious activity and probable widespread voting fraud. A formal investigation was announced at yesterday’s press conference at the Commission’s headquarters in Boise.

As reported by the Bonner county elections department, Democratic candidates received a substantial increase in votes across all contested races, as compared to past election cycles. The average number of votes cast for Democratic candidates in the 2020 election, including all federal, state and county offices, was 8,472. The Idaho Election Commission felt that this number stood out as an anomaly compared to the 2018, 2016, 2014, 2012, 2010, and 2008 average of four votes being cast for all Democratic candidates in all of those elections.

The Idaho Elections Commission traced all known registered Democrats living in Bonner county, and concluded that through 2018 there were indeed only four. They included a local community paper publisher, a perennial candidate that runs for any open office with no hope of winning, the mayor of the county’s largest town, and a crazy woman living in Clark Fork. Further investigation revealed that with the boom in Bonner county’s population growth, maybe two or three more Democrats may have snuck in, and were most likely on the largest town’s city council.

The Idaho Election Commission press secretary summed up their findings by saying “Looking at past trends and statistical analysis, the IEC can understand Democratic candidates receiving at least seven, and maybe as many as twelve votes each. But 8,472 on average? C’mon Man! That just reeks of widespread voter fraud and rampant cheating. In what reality did Democrats think that would go unnoticed? The only thing that remains confusing to the IEC, is why they would choose to cheat their way into second place, which they had a lock on before all of their fraud?” Formal charges are still pending against all four known democrats, and are expected to be filed before year-end.

Bonner Boogie Showcase

 

Thriving North Idaho business for sale. This unique flea market / auto repair / flophouse is now available for those savvy investors looking for a unique opportunity. Consistently grossing receipts in the tens of dollars annually, with 4 current tenants, one of whom actually pays rent. This property is also zoned Industrial 3, so no worrying about any EPA sanctions in the future, despite anything that you may ‘accidentally’ spill. Freshly updated paint and landscaping out front, with the potential for an oil well in the back by the old pit. Become your own boss NOW! Offered at only $1.5 million exclusively through Billy Bob’s Business Brokerage, Medical Marijuana and CBD Emporium.

Clark Fork Starts a New Tradition

 

CLARK FORK, ID - Looking to enhance diversity and culture, the town of Clark Fork is seeking to start a new tradition. Piggybacking on the Mexican Quinceaneras, the town is pushing its new KinCanPickMeNows celebrations.

Quinceaneras are a Mexican coming of age party for their young women, celebrated in conjunction with a young miss’ 15th birthday. These gatherings allow families to introduce their daughters to the communities as eligible young women, hopefully while still unpreggers, and give an excuse for family and friends to eat and drink like pigs.

The proposed KinCanPickMeNows are to take place on a young woman’s 14th birthday, the day that she can be legally married off in idaho. And unlike a quinceanera, being preggers in Clark Fork will be seen as cause for a double celebration. As Clark Fork is a small and shall we say, ‘tight knit’ community, KinCanPickMeNows seemed like a good name for the new celebration. So far, seven KinCanPickMeNows have been planned for the rest of the year, with the appropriate feasts of poached animals and roadkill plus White family moonshine reserved for the townspeople.

How to Effectively Argue, Part 8

 This is the final article in an eight part series that is intended to help our readership understand and engage in modern logic and debate techniques

Still relying on logic and reason to make your points, enhance your debates, and for letters to the editor? The Moose droppings would like to introduce you to Saul Alinsky’s 12 Rules for Radicals. The last three are:

* RULE 10: “If you push a negative hard enough, it will push through and become a positive.” Violence from the other side can win the public to your side because the public sympathizes with the underdog. (Unions used this tactic. Peaceful [albeit loud] demonstrations during the heyday of unions in the early to mid 20th Century incurred management’s wrath, often in the form of violence that eventually brought public sympathy to their side.) 

* RULE 11: “The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.” Never let the enemy score points because you’re caught without a solution to the problem. (Old saw: If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Activist organizations have an agenda, and their strategy is to hold a place at the table, to be given a forum to wield their power. So, they have to have a compromise solution.) 

* RULE 12: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.” Cut off the support network and isolate the target from sympathy. Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions. (This is cruel, but very effective. Direct, personalized criticism and ridicule works.)

The Moose Droppings hopes that this series has been helpful, and will entice our readers to take the time to write nonsensical, illogical and emotional charged tirades and rants to the various newspapers around the county, just like the pros do now.

Knifepoint, Liberia Dealing With Covid

KNIFEPOINT, LIBERIA - Health officials in Sandpoint’s sister city, Knifepoint, are struggling to keep up with rising Covid-19 infections. Anonymous sources familiar with the pandemic have reported that the mayor of Knifepoint is now considering the curtailing of services and restricting movement in order to contain the heinous and rampant outbreak of the Cornbirus.

The source stated that the mayor is planning on closing all AIDS treatment facilities and prophylactic distribution centers, and rerouting those funds for Corona purposes. The mayor believes that with his new social distancing protocols that AIDS will no longer be spread and that the area’s birthrate will naturally decline. Health officials are also on board with these proposals as the Corona is way more heinous and trendy than the AIDS.

Knifepoint residents will also be prohibited from selling arms and munitions to any rebels or groups that have not been tested for the Cornbirus. Any such rebels and groups must have a government approved negative test result for the Covids, before they may enter Knifepoint to rearm for their next ethnic cleansing. All rebel groups will be required to adhere to the mayor’s social distancing standards during village exterminations. The one concession that the mayor made was that mass graves can continue to be used, without violating social distancing rules.

Something Smart: Doug Stanhope

 

“Democracy is the worst kind, I’m sorry but it is. 'We get to pick our leaders.' Well, what if I don’t want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own, I don’t want to be led. Is that freedom?” Doug Stanhope, Comedian

Voter to Actually Research Candidates

HOPE, ID - In an unprecedented display of concern, local voter Mary Ann Watson has announced that she will actually perform research on all candidates before she votes this coming November 3rd. For the past 33 elections, Mrs. Watson has been concerned that her past methods of choosing candidates have been flawed, leading her to vote for officials who have acted in ways counter to her beliefs, morals and principles. By actually becoming an informed voter, Mrs. Watson hopes to avoid making bad decisions going forward.

When interviewed, Mrs. Watson stated that “Before TV, I used to make my voting choices based on what my family and friends told me. I just assumed that they knew what they were talking about, and went with their advice so that I would remain popular with my group. Then TV came along, and we were all able to choose the candidate who looked the best and said the neatest stuff in those thirty second commercials. But recently, I have come to figure out that my friends are all kind of dumb, and I think the TV might be lying to me.”

Mrs. Watson started by going on-line and checking out every candidate's personal web pages to find out what they were trying to accomplish, as well as their party’s platforms. She also applied some critical thinking skills to determine if any of what she read made any sense whatsoever. For incumbents, she also looked into their past voting records to see if their votes matched up with their stated positions. Finally, she checked on each candidate’s financial disclosures to see who was funding their campaigns.

“I was truly shocked and dismayed, to find out that the people I had been voting for all along had nothing in common with me. In fact, I am seriously considering switching political parties once my parents pass away. I would do it now, but then I would have to hear about it from my dad. It seems like these candidates are all a bunch of professional lying, money grabbing, attention whores who have nothing to offer but a nice smile, a meaningless platitude, and gross incompetence. I’m pretty sure that most of them are dumber than my friends, and that they are all probably alternative school flunkees.”

“As of now, I’m not holding out a lot of hope for the county, state, or the country. I was checking out the Panamanian, Nigerian and Ukranian elections, and at least they have candidates that can speak clearly and make a point. I may just move to avoid the BS and corruption that encompasses this country.”