Adorable Couple Eschews Social Distancing

Get a room, you two!

Sagle, ID - The County's "Most Adorable Couple" is reportedly back together again after recently having "taken a week off" to "think things through" after a minor squabble over whose turn it was to pay for breakfast. Upon hearing about the statewide order to avoid human contact, they were drawn together like never before.

Sightings of the pair began in earnest two years ago when they were first spotted at Garfield Bay flirtatiously knocking back shots of tequila at a picnic table. Since then, the pair have been virtually inseparable, parading around town arm-in-arm after officially becoming an item. They were voted Sandpoint’s Most Adorable Couple in 2019, a title they continue to hold.

Since the start of the government-mandated shutdown, the two have been spotted on all the city’s various hiking trails and walkways, walking closely together and holding hands despite social distancing requirements. When asked about their open defiance of these common sense precautions, the couple, known only as "you two", made the following statements:

“Look, you don’t get to be voted the Most Adorable Couple in Sandpoint by backing down from adversity. In these trying and unknown times, we are trying to bring a ray of sunshine and hope to the public at large by doing what we do best, being adorable," he said.

"Since we can’t go out for breakfast or tacos anymore, because COVID, we have decided to maintain our public walk schedules to keep up appearances as usual,” she added.

Local waitress Cherlene Tunt stated "They. Are. Adorable. They used to come in every week for dinner, and it's been really hard to lose that." Tunt was the first person to publicly declare the couple's total cuteness, and restaurant staff reportedly draw straws to decide who gets to serve the couple. A series of random strangers have also confirmed the pair's captivating appeal, including a man who said they look like they should be on the cover of a book and a woman who said she volunteered to take their picture when she saw them sitting together on a park bench.

“Besides, you all know that we live together, eat together and sleep together, and neither of us is in a high risk category or really believes in the monkey-see/monkey-do behavior that the rest of the country has fallen for," the couple stated. "If you are high risk for living life, then please stay home and shelter in place in your given-up chairs. If you are out and about, then please give us a wave back, and by all means if you feel the need you can tell us how adorable we are. Don’t be bashful, we’re used to it.”

Last week, a local photographer captured a romantic image of the couple embraced in a passionate kiss on the Lollipop Bridge during sunset. The image received hundreds of "likes" and smiling emojis on Facebook despite a few jaded divorcées remarking that the couple's public displays of affection were "annoying" and "over the top".