Wednesday, April 1, 2020

What Are You Doing to Survive the Corona Apocalypse?

I’m, like, embracing social distancing by spending time in my room on my phone, sending, like, vanity shots to the cute boys from school.” Madison, SHS student
I’m sheltering in place, and bought ten years worth of TP, frozen dinners, and water. I just need a bigger freezer now, and enough gas for my generator, and another generator in case this one dies on me.” Homer, retired 93-year-old owner of a lake front home
I head out only once per day for essential errands, you know like Starbucks, the liquor store, and the pot shop over in Washington.” Moon Child, 45-year-old trust fund baby
I’m an essential worker, so I have to wear latex gloves to handle everyone’s food all day long. Since the gloves are disposable we can't really sanitize them, so we get a fresh pair at the start of each shift.” Susie, Safeway cashier
I’m high risk, so I now send my grandkids to the store for my three cigarette packs each morning so I don’t catch anything bad.” Nancy, retiree with emphysema

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Merry Xmas from the Moose Droppings

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