Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Area Man Declares Virus 'Red Herring'

Sagle, ID - Outspoken comedian Larry "Mad Dog" Fury, known for his cringe-worthy verbal outbursts at the downtown farmers market, publicly announced his involvement in the flyers that have been posted all over town during the past two weeks.

On his blog, Fury stated he had initially mailed a 19,000 word manifesto to the daily paper, voicing his dissent over governmental mismanagement of the enduring coronavirus clusterfuck. His submission was rejected due to lack of space, prompting Fury to take matters into his own hands and display printed flyers at all "essential" businesses remaining open during the government-mandated shutdown, such as state revenue builders like liquor stores, gas stations, and "medical" marijuana dispensaries.

The flyers, invoking the populace to "open their minds" and "rise up" against the "orchestrated sham" of the coronavirus pandemic, became widely discussed on social media channels despite Fury warning fellow citizens to stop using such "free" services due to profitable data harvesting gained from the voluntary relinquishment of personal liberties that, once taken away, are rather difficult to get back.

Fury also used his flyers to drive home various talking points including "the newfound divided collectivism of the people", "herd mentality", and "the ease of which the government gained control of everyone's lives by using a switch-based psy-op campaign of fear mongering and rapidly changing facts." The flyers were peppered with political phrases like "red herring" and "black swan", and included a "then versus now" reference to the 1997 film Wag The Dog starring Robert DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman.

The comedian's messages were downplayed and mocked within social media circles, prompting an array of jokes ranging from "You know you're crazy when" memes and excessive usage of angry-faced emojis wearing tinfoil hats. 
 
Fury was also criticized for using Comic Sans font on the flyers, when a more serious font would have gained bigger impact and more respect. He could not be reached for comment as of press time.

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