City Mulls Turfing Beach Park

SANDPOINT, ID - With construction slated to install artificial turf on a local sports field, the city is now exploring options for a massive overhaul of City Beach. Despite facing extreme opposition from the public, the city accepted the sole design/single bid option presented at last year’s all expenses paid junket to Rio de Janeiro, sponsored by PseudoTurf® Inc. Sources within the planning committee have confirmed that the corporation has been actively lobbying the city, and have scheduled to present their latest proposal at an upcoming junket to Tahiti.

PseudoTurf will be flying local leaders and committee members to the Blue Daiquiri Resort in Mbulagong later this summer, where an interactive slideshow presentation will be given detailing a single option for the landscape redesign of City Beach.

Although unconfirmed, it's rumored that the proposal will include replacing over three acres of grass, plus the sand pits and parking asphalt, with durable artifical turf formulated to match the natural colors as closely as possible. The parking lot will be covered with speckled black turf and reflective white and safety orange directional stripes.

A representative from PseudoTurf was quoted as saying that replacing the grass with turf will help to eliminate nuisance geese nesting in the park, will avoid itchy swimsuits and sand stuck in shoes, and prevent the need to pave the lot and repaint parking stripes.

The city has stressed that being flown first class and staying in a $700 dollar a night resort would in no way influence the committee’s choice on the single option to be presented.