Opinion: East Coast Elitists Attempt to Educate Backwoods Idahoans on Viral Danger

By Droppings Contributor Dick Denker

On April 8th, the New York Times ran an article detailing the tragic results of the coronavirus as it swept a rampagous path through North Idaho, and the response from certain local leaders and outlying constitutional cravers. The article attempted to Identify North Idaho as inhabited by crazed hillbillies who blatantly disregard the certain peril they face from the virus, and their callous disregard for the lives of their friends and neighbors as well.

A photo of Bonner General Hospital’s unused and unneeded COVID-19 triage tents, with a purposefully strolling healthcare professional (hero) garbed up in a lab coat and a mask, led the article. What the Times failed to note was that the worker was on his mid-morning break, heading back from one of the tents where he had reheated his lunch and snuck in a cocktail after having played solitaire to pass the time as he literally has nothing to do all day.

Following this gripping report were pictures of a vacant city beach and empty playground equipment, closed to area youth. There was a no mention of North Idaho's weather in early April, that it had snowed the day before, and that no one really uses the beach when it’s forty degrees outside and raining.

Although listed as being reported from Sandpoint, the article started off detailing a Boise rally (because Boise = Idaho) being held by that stalwart of rational discourse, Ammon Bundy. Apparently the Times can’t read a map or pinpoint the distance between Boise and Sandpoint. Nor do they realize that Bundy, who doesn’t even live in Idaho, doesn’t speak for all of us, and further gives no concession toward a rational person wanting to question the data of the coronavirus and governmental response to save us all from this "heinous disease".

The Times also alluded to the high infection rate in Blaine county, home of Sun Valley resort. You know, the place 400 miles from Sandpoint, the place where all the rich and famous fly in and out of for the skiing and winter socializing? They managed to tie that right back to North Idaho, without mentioning the horror of our actual four confirmed cases, all of whom are recovering at home with Domino's pizza, light beer (Corona, no doubt. Salud!), and Gilligan’s Island reruns.

Our town would like to respectfully disagree with the obvious bias shown by the Times coverage of our little slice of paradise, and point out the obvious bigotry that they show for our citizens and state. At the same time, we would also like to thank them for perpetrating the inbred hillbilly stereotype of our citizenry (even without mentioning the scary black rifles we all tote around), as we hope it will keep the more enlightened out of North Idaho. Hopefully these pillars of elitist idealism will pick a different place for their retirement safe spaces, allowing our community to make its own decisions on its well being without their influence or moral superiority being interjected.

Might we suggest a new city slogan? Sandpoint: We’ve had enough of you, Corona.