- Toilet paper. Don't hunker down without it. Keep a one year supply in stock: Men, three rolls; women, 365 rolls.
- Cabbage and beans. Both have a ridiculously long shelf life, plus the added benefit of producing trench warfare-like gas clouds to keep intruders at bay.
- Plenty of boxed wine. When stacked twelve high and three deep, these sturdy boxes provide robust fortification to any pantry.
- More booze. Several cases of a light, easy-to-drink beer such as Corona, Corona Lite, or Corona XX Lite.
- More is merrier. Every time you pick something up at the store, buy six more. Those eight-
- Power. Remember the Rawlesian mantra of 'Two is one and one is none' when it comes to the life-saving power of a generator. Buy four. That way if one breaks or is stolen by marauding home invaders you've still got three, which, if you do the math, is like having one. Keep fuel on hand: the half gallon you have left over for the lawnmower should be plenty.
- Work animals. Pit bulls, peacocks, hungry pigs, aggressive waterfowl, and a pond of pirahnas all look good as well as provide security and garbage disposal for your retreat.
- Water. A relaxing hot tub now could one day be 300 gallons of safe drinking water for your family after the grid goes down.
- Just in case. Plan ahead with a supply of Depends and Ensure in case the end of the world lasts forever.
- Ammo. If all else falls, this is all you really need. One bullet will get the job done.
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