Thursday, May 14, 2020

White Family Wins Awards

Billy Ray Inman, father/grandfather
7B WIRE - Bonner County observed a plethora of celebrations for Mother's Day last weekend.

In Clark Fork, the White family won all three categories in the annual Honor the Maws contest. Ida "Ho" White set the stage for the other wins by claiming this year's Youngest Maw prize. Ida, 15, gave birth last winter to a boy, Jethrow Ray.

The birth catapulted Carrie Ann White, 30, to Youngest Mammaw honors. In turn, Carrie Ann’s mother, Betty Sue White, 44, won the honors for Youngest Double Mammaw. Billy Ray Inman, baby daddy to both Carrie Ann and Ida Ho, made bail in time to bestow a 30-pack of 'Stones at the ceremony.

In Priest Lake, protestors gathered to rebuke the health department's new Break the Mold public service campaign, heavily promoted across the Idaho Panhandle to encourage young women that it's socially acceptable if they aren't engaged and pregnant before the start of their senior year of high school.

A crowd of Mormonite family members, led by patriarch Warren Jeffs, arrived in modest dresses holding signs reading "Future Sandwich Maker" and "I Love Ironing". Jeffs was unavailable for comment, as he was busy eating a sandwich and getting a shoulder rub.

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Merry Xmas from the Moose Droppings

  May you be blessed with family and friends, the people who love you and those that you love. All the rest is bullshit.